today i express more gratitude than ever for my babies & their health. 

we had a horrific accident happen while visiting the zoo yesterday morning. this is actually much more difficult for me to type out than i had thought it would be, but i'd like to write about it then move on with our healing. 

we had just arrived with my friend tarah & her boys, and as we were exiting a building at the entrance, eloise's left index finger became stuck in the hinge of an automatic door. tarah & i both watched it happen in, what seems like, slow motion. once we got her finger released, all i could see was a large amount of blood & tarah telling me, "it's bad". i couldn't look because i knew i would get sick, but grabbed my baby & ran inside to try & find help- ice, first aid, anything. a zoo volunteer called the EMT, and at this point tarah was left with 4 kids including my exclusively nursing 3 month old. in trying to be honest with me, i was being told that it looked like part of eloise's fingertip had been cut off. i had no idea what to do- i had other children who needed me & my eloise was writhing & wailing in such pain. the ambulance was called because i was being told that i needed to get to an ER as quickly as possible, and i knew that i couldn't strap eloise into her carseat with all of this blood + her ever-growing pain, and i certainly didn't have time to load up my others. i needed the zoo volunteer to find tarah & come up with a quick game plan. thankfully, tarah is a smart mama bear and had already called her cousin to come get her boys so that she could fully devote focus to my other children. as we waited for the ambulance, i was saying "you don't understand, i have a nursing baby who i absolutely cannot leave. she doesn't take bottles & she's going to need to eat." i was told that i could send eloise, my not even 2 year old, ON HER OWN in the ambulance so that i could stay with my infant- the zoo staff kept telling me that i wouldn't be able to bring betsy onto the ambulance, which i later found out is inaccurate. 

as the ambulance pulled up & eloise continued to be in the worst possible pain i could ever imagine seeing my child in, tarah assured me she had my other girls, "ivy, i'm a mom. i've got this. i've got boobs if she needs to eat!" thank God for my fellow nursing friend! 

once we got in the ambulance, i knew that i needed to contact jon [who was in wichita for the day], as well as our parents for backup support. i immediately got ahold of everyone but my mom, who was in a school classroom. amy was able to contact my mom's co-workers in order to track her down & before i knew it, jon was headed back from wichita, both of our moms were headed to children's mercy downtown & tarah was following us in my car with both of my girls, as her cousin had arrived at the zoo to take care of colton & maddox. the paramedics assured me that eloise's fingertip was intact, but that it had a deep laceration & further examination would be able to tell us the extent of the damage. i am forever thankful for the calm demeanor of these well-trained medical workers. 

the afternoon consisted of our moms tag-teaming taking tarah back to her kids, handing off betsy to me when she needed to nurse, making sure lucy was fed [so thankful i had packed a lunch]. eventually, lucy went home with jon's parents, and my mom stayed with me & the babies. my sister contacted a fellow physician friend that works at children's, who so graciously showed up in my room with a diet coke & food. 

an X-ray showed that there is no fracture, but rather a deep laceration through her nail bed. three stitches [& strawberry flavored laughing gas] were put in to keep her fingertip hanging on. eloise was dosed with a narcotic that made her sick to her stomach, but eventually conked her out long enough for me to get her home. i was grateful to be discharged same day. 

we have a follow-up appointment scheduled with eloise's pediatrician, but it looks like long-term, the worst outcome is that her fingernail will never grow back. 

my poor baby went through so much physical & emotional trauma yesterday. i would give anything to have been able to carry the burden of her pain. there is nothing on this whole entire earth worse than seeing your child in pain. 

i am grateful for the village that is helping jon & i raise our children. i am grateful that the pain medication is helping my sweet, sweet eloise & i am most grateful that the severity of her injury isn't worse. 

please continue to lift eloise up in love & prayers as she begins the healing process. she is exhausted. 

& i do have to mention the silver lining. eloise did not have ONE potty accident yesterday, despite being drugged & despite her pain. i'd say this sweet little one has the potty training thing down pat :)

since being back home, eloise has told us that she's "super cozy!" wrapped up in blankets & that she's "all bewwa!" [all better:)] thanks to the numbness & medication. 

thank you for reading & sending positivity. 

love to all, 

-ivy